Relationship Philosophies

The principles behind securing, maintaining, and building relationships have been a source of conversation and philosophical study for thousands of years. 

What’s your philosophy on relationship building? 

Do you consider preparing before you meet with someone for the first time?

Confucius said, “Success depends upon previous preparation, and without such preparation there is sure to be failure.”

Centuries later leaders still find value in this lesson.
Theodore Roosevelt used to read up on subjects that were of interest to his guests before they met.  Keith Ferrazzi, author of Never Eat Alone and expert relationship builder, reminds us to do our homework.  He recommends putting together a biography on a person before we meet them.  If we haven’t taken the time to “Google” the person before meeting, shame on us, the author remarks. 

How many times do you make connections between people just because it makes sense, without any thought of getting something in return?

Lao-tzu said, “The wise man does not lay up his own treasures. The more he gives to others, the more he has for his own.”

Tim Sanders concurs with these philosophers in his book, Love is the Killer App.  Sanders promotes that we should be sharing our knowledge, our network, and our compassion with others and expect nothing in return.  The business world once carried the notion that win-lose was inevitable and it is every man for himself.  That philosophy is changing. People are realizing that they can get much farther and be much more successful if everyone is winning.  Every man for each other is more of the slogan for today’s economy.  With this in mind it only makes sense that strong relationships are a must to be successful.

How often do you offer up words of sincere words of kindness when you are connecting with someone new?

The philosopher Mencius said, “Kindly words do not enter so deeply into men as a reputation for kindness.”

Dalai Lama reminds us that, “If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.”  I do think these gentlemen were not so short-sided as to think this didn’t have a role in the marketplace or commerce of today.  We do not change characters when we move from our personal lives into our professional lives and back again.  Dale Carnegie also concurs as one of the  principles from his historic book, How to Win Friends and Influence People, is “Give honest, sincere appreciation.”

To summarize, there are three lessons for us to consider in how we go about relationship building:

1^st – Prepare for meetings.  Try to understand who you are meeting with and what interests them before ever meeting.  Use the information to strike up conversation and get on the same playing field with the person quickly.

2^nd – Do not expect anything in return.  When you do good things, good things will happen.  Just don’t expect that it has to come from the same place in which it was left.

3^rd – Be kind, sincere, and compassionate.  The days of the rough and gruff businessman are long over.  Let kindness and sincerity take you to success.

What parts of your relationship philosophy ring in consonance with these philosophers and authors?  What parts of your philosophy differ?  What might you consider doing differently because of what you’ve read today?