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What's in a Face?
I
once had a
colleague that would roll his eyes at almost every idea that wasn’t his
own. Additional facial expressions that complemented the eye-rolling
were typically easy to spot as well: puffed cheeks then a release of
air, sighs, furrowed brows, and other assorted expressions that gave
everyone around the distinct impression that this individual thought he
was way too smart to have to sit in meetings with the rest of us. One
time someone called him out on it. The most interesting part of all of
this was that he really didn’t have a clue that he was an eye-roller.
He truly was not aware of the expressions he was making and even more
importantly how they were negatively impacting the rest of the team.
I’ve found two factors that can lead to problems
with facial expressions. The first is the person being completely
unaware of the face they are donning. Individuals who are not conscious
of the picture they’ve painted on their face for others to see are
usually also not fully aware of the impact they have on their group.
The second factor that can lead to problems is in misreading the facial
expressions in front of us. Concern may be misconstrued as disapproval.
A lingering furrowed brow from a prior meeting may be taken as
frustration around the topic you are putting on the table.
Have you ever stopped and thought about the face
you are wearing?
The expression it holds during a team meeting.
The signal it gives off that says ‘don’t talk to me right now’ as
you’re walking down the hall.
The ‘I’m in trouble’ or ‘life is great’ face after you leave your
manager’s office.
Unless you have a particularly good poker face and
wear it all day long; you probably show a lot about what you’re thinking
and feeling in your face, like the rest of us. While it’s usually not a
problem to wear your emotions on your face; it makes sense to understand
how people around you will perceive the expression you’re wearing. From
a scowl to a smile your face paints a picture and the people around you
read meaning into the pictures they see. If you manage others it’s
particularly important to understand the messages you’re transmitting
through your facial expressions.
Let me share with you another story. This one is about P.J., a
mid-level manager of about 30 people. Part of what P.J. was known for
was wearing his feelings on his sleeve. The employees used to wait for
P.J. to walk by their desks after a management meeting. They were sure
they knew what was going on by the look on P.J.’s face. When P.J.
looked worried they all assumed something bad was about to come down the
pike. They kibitzed and shuffled around for the rest of day and
theorized about what was to come. Nothing productive was accomplished
the rest of the day. However, when he walked out smiling and, by the
expression he wore, obviously happy people were eager to find out what
was up. They’d go right up and ask what was going on. The rest of the
day the team would be humming away like a well oiled machine. The team
remained on this roller coaster ride until P.J. realized the impact he
was having on the team. At first he didn’t really believe that they
paid that much attention to him. But he couldn’t let go of the idea so
he decided to test the waters. He’d leave meetings purposely very
serious. For the rest of the day he kept an eye on the team. It was
true. They scuttled around and kibitzed and were completely
unproductive. When he left meetings cheery there was a 180 degree shift
in the vibe of the office. Back to the well oiled machine. This
information didn’t stop P.J. from reacting to the business at hand, but
it did help him understand when he needed to put a little control on his
emotions. It also helped him realize that he needed to communicate with
his team and explain the expressions they were seeing. They needed to
understand when he was worried or frustrated just as much as when he was
excited or happy.
So what do you do? P.J. is a great example of
what to do. Pay attention to how you’re feeling and how you’re
expressing yourself in your everyday work situations. Pay attention to
the reactions of those around you. Allow your facial expressions to
support your managerial ability. |